


The Dating Lives of Aliens

by hafital



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-21
Updated: 2011-10-21
Packaged: 2017-10-28 03:58:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/303483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hafital/pseuds/hafital
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laughing, Maria fell into Sarah Jane's arm. "It's good to see you! What are you doing here? Are you checking up on me?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dating Lives of Aliens

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2011 Doctor Who Femslash Ficathon (dw_femslash on LJ)

In retrospect, the perfectly manicured fingernails of mesmerising fuchsia should have been a sign, but, honestly, how was Maria to know? It's not like one should expect aliens to enroll in physics.

A voice that sounded remarkably like Clyde whispered without subtlety in the back of Maria's mind: _Have you learned nothing? That is_ exactly _when you should expect a dodgy alien!_

Maria laughed, and the dodgy alien merely blinked at her. "Want to come back to my flat? To, um, study? I think my flatmates might be out; we'll have the place to ourselves."

If the dodgy alien answered out loud, Maria couldn't tell. She (and, for some reason, Maria was certain the alien was female) wasn't much for talking, although she was certainly pretty enough she didn't need to talk.

For one rather horrifying moment, Maria thought she was getting to be as bad as Clyde, but then the dodgy but very pretty alien nodded in agreement and floated beside Maria and she forgot to roll her eyes at herself.

Maria didn't remember the walk to her flat, but they were suddenly there, faster than a blink of an eye. Sunlight fell in golden patches all along the wooden floorboards and up along the pale blue painted walls. Her school books lay haphazardly on a table and pop music played softly in the background. "Do you want tea? Coffee?" Maria asked her guest who just stood there, blinking. Maria, ready for anything, stared at those fingernails. She didn't receive an answer, but fixed the tea things anyway.

The dodgy alien turned to Maria. She was ridiculously pretty. To look at her was to stare at perfection embodied. Maria tried to describe her: she looked like sunlight on a field of pink flowers, sounded like a lullaby sung in soft enjoyment, felt like the delicate skin on the inside of her wrist. Maria offered the alien a cuppa and, in passing, touched her fingers. Those fingernails were rather off-putting.

Maria sat on the sofa and looked at the alien. Maria liked to look at her. The alien wasn't drinking her tea. She rather floated around the flat, long hair falling in gentle fuchsia waves. Another voice, this one sounding like Luke, asked: _Do girls float? Can you float? Why do girls color their fingernails? Does she have a disease? Is that good?_

Maria stifled another laugh and the beautiful alien floated over, her fingernails becoming even brighter and more mesmerizing. "Oh," said Maria, sitting back as the alien's pretty face leaned closer. Was she about to snog an alien? She looked into the alien's eyes that were suddenly as furiously pink as the rest of her, realising she didn't even know the alien's name, and everything seemed to pause, and float, and… Before Maria could do anything, before she could blink or sigh or sit up, the alien sucked back as if readying to strike and—

The loud crash tossed Maria from the sofa onto the floor. Plaster crashed from the ceiling, raining dust and debris. The door flew open with a crash. Through the cloud of dust Maria saw a slight figure storm into the flat holding a small device that whirred and beeped louder and louder as the figure emerged from the dust to stand before the sofa and the alien.

The alien cried out in alarm, turning rapidly from her pleasant fuchsia into a disturbing shade of green.

Maria cried out, in joy and surprise, "Sarah Jane!"

Sarah Jane passed (what Maria assumed to be) her alien detector over the alien, who wasn't looking so beautiful now, and said, triumphantly, "Ah ha! I knew it. A Syndonian. What are you doing in this part of the universe? You've been banned under Order 34ThetaX governing Class Y beings under the Shadow Proclamation."

The alien hissed, then, apparently recognizing a losing situation, floated up into the air and vanished with a faint _pop._

"There, that does it." With a happy smile, Sara Jane closed the screen of her handheld device with satisfaction. Then, as if she only just realized who stood next to her, cried, "Oh, Maria. It's so _good_ to see you!"

Laughing, Maria fell into Sarah Jane's arm. "It's good to see you! What are you doing here? Are you checking up on me?"

Sarah Jane pulled back to look at her, but she was smiling. "And what if I was? But, oh, never mind that. I want to hear all about school and what it's like, and your classes. Tell me everything. It's been so long since you and I have had a good chat. I miss our talks."

Maria was momentarily overwhelmed with love and emotion and she clutched tightly to Sarah Jane's hand.

~~~

Maria put the kettle back on and she and Sarah Jane sat close together on the sofa, comfortable and cozy and it was so much like old times that Maria forgot for a moment that she didn't live across the street and that her dad wasn't waiting for her at home.

"What is it?" asked Sarah Jane, reaching across and smoothing down Maria's ever escaping hair.

"Nothing," she said, but she turned her face toward Sarah Jane's hand. "I guess I'm just a bit lonely sometimes."

"Don't you have friends?"

"Oh yes. It's not that. Just, I guess, that alien, the Sym--"

"Syndonian"

"Right. It was a bit like old times, yeah? Like it used to be." Maria closed her eyes and sought Sarah Jane's touch again.

Sarah Jane didn't say anything but Maria could see in just her expression, in the softness of her gaze, that she understood. Maria lowered her eyes, staying still as Sarah Jane came closer.

"I know," said Sarah Jane. "But, I'm never that far away."

Maria smiled. "Yeah. I can always count on you to come save the day. What is this thing anyway?" she asked, picking up the device Sarah Jane had used to identify the alien.

To Maria's surprise, Sarah Jane blushed a little. "Just a tool. Something I pieced together, you know."

Sarah Jane tried to grab the device back but Maria turned and shielded it with her body. That time she spent in almost constant company with Sarah Jane and Luke, in Sarah Jane's house with the super computer Mr. Smith in the attic, had taught her how to quickly figure out technology, and it took just a few seconds for her to see how it worked. "Is this keyed to track me?"

"Never you mind," said Sarah Jane in her charming but bossy manner. Then she laughed and Maria laughed. "Oh, of course it is. To you, Luke, Clyde, and Rani. Well, it's like you said, isn't it. You're all away, at school, and I no longer see you every day. When you were gone with your dad, that was one thing. But now--" She fell silent as Maria flew forward and hugged Sarah Jane tightly.

After a moment, they drew slightly apart, but kept their foreheads touching.

The door crashed open and Maria's flatmates came barging in, loud and cheerful and bringing in the cool afternoon air.

~~~

Maria began to think the university was some kind for hotbed of lost aliens looking for a date. This one was male (at least at first guess) and rather wan and woebegon, leaning against a wall outside Maria's afternoon maths class. The area was mostly deserted, at the back of the block and away from the main paths to and from the university buildings.

"Are you all right?" she asked, approaching slowly. It was the iridescent scales that gave him away. They were subtle, rather like a faint tattoo running up and down his bare arms. Of course, tattoos don't normally pulse every thirty seconds and flutter quite like that.

The morose alien twitched slightly but looked up, smiling a sad sort of smile, and held his hand out. "Four. Six. Eight. Twenty-Four. Two." The alien's voice was low and mournful sounding, although still rather lovely. It filled Maria with a strange urge to give up and sit somewhere dark and miserable while contemplating how depressing everything was.

"Right," she said, eyeing the hand warily. "Only you don't look well. Are you lost? Hand me your timetable and let's see if we can't get you sorted."

"Thirteen. Nine. Forty-One. Eleven." With an air that said it was all useless so why bother, the alien handed Maria a sheet of paper. She quickly scanned it. The sheet was filled with lines of numbers, naturally. Beside her, the alien had continued to sing numbers with his sorrowful voice and Maria found it distracting. Then, she remembered something and quickly dug around in her bag until her fingers closed around a small metal object hidden underneath her chemistry book. It was a translation matrix Luke had made one day as a joke to help with her French homework. Of course, as with most of Luke's jokes, it also worked perfectly. She scanned the sheet of paper.

"Well, that explains it," said Maria, cheerfully, leaning closer to the alien. "This says you're supposed to be in Terileptil Art and Literature of the Early Hakol Era. You must have taken a wrong turning somewhere. This is the maths department."

The alien sighed dramatically. "Three. Seven. Nine." His voice did a little trill, as if to say, "Oh it's all so hopeless. What's the point? I hate life. Life hates me. I think I'll just stand here so you can admire how beautifully sad and pathetic I am."

Actually, momentarily surprised that three numbers could express quite so much and noting that the translation matrix was working perfectly, Maria was beginning to think the alien's voice was rather whiny and annoying. "Yes, well. Good luck," she said with false cheer, "I'd better be going now, late for class."

She turned and tried to walk away but the alien blocked the path in front of her. "Five. Fifteen. Twenty-Five."

"No, I don't want to go with you and write bad poetry all night long," she said, affronted, and tried to go around the alien who blocked her path again. She pushed to get past him but he grabbed her arm and started somberly howling numbers. "Let go of me." She yanked her arm free, stomped on his foot, and ran, but he was surprisingly fast for such a depressed creature, grabbing her again, yelling numbers in a mad frenzy. Maria covered her ears.

There was a loud BANG, followed by cheerful and jolly music and then a bright, joyous light flooded the entire area. The alien let go of Maria, and then it was his turn to cower, attempting to cover his eyes and ears.

Squinting through the bright light, Maria smiled when a familiar voice said, "I think it's time you went off to where you belong. She's not your type."

The alien, straightening as the light subsided and the happy, bouncing music quieted down, sighed another little pathetic and woeful sigh, then said, sullenly, "One," and then moped away.

"Sarah Jane!" cried Maria, hurrying over and hugging Sarah Jane close. "What was that?"

"An Aurythmetrist," she answered, with a smile. "Mostly harmless. But then sometimes they get a little pushy in their desire to be as depressed as possible. The more the merrier, you understand. Of course, they dislike anything happy, so that's something of a contradiction. You know, I'm beginning to think this university must have been built over a rift in time and space," she said, taking Maria's arm in hers.

Maria, eager to keep Sarah Jane with her as long as possible, leaned against her and laughed. It was so easy to be happy with Sarah Jane. They started walking slowly to the front of the block. In the distance Maria could see the regular traffic of students going to and from classes. "Or maybe it's some sort of intergalactic student exchange program UNIT forgot to mention to anyone else."

"Yes, that must be it. I suppose it's all part of being young and unattached. Going about dating and meeting new friends. Oh, but I do hope you're careful."

Maria felt her face get hot and didn't know what to say. It's not like she really liked the Aurythmetrist, even if she had thought he was rather interesting at the start. And, as much as she found aliens fascinating, if she were going to date anyone, she'd rather they were human. Besides, if she could she would spend her free time with Sarah Jane but she felt suddenly shy in saying so. "Of course I'm careful."

Sarah Jane stopped and looked as if she were about to say something and there was a sad, distracted expression on her face that Maria didn't like to see. Just then, Maria saw movement. "Look," she said, pointing.

The Aurythmetrist had returned, but he wasn't alone. There were several more Aurythmetrists approaching slowly with their depressed sort of shuffle. Maria looked behind her and saw more coming from behind the building. As they approached she could hear that they were chanting over and over again. "One. One. One. One. One."

"Sarah Jane," said Maria, a little apprehensively. She squeezed Sarah Jane's hand.

Already taking up the now familiar device, Sarah Jane said calmly, "There's hundreds of them. We're surrounded."

The Aurythmetrists were closing in, their constant chanting becoming like a droning, almost like the sound of marching or the whirring of machinery. With the aid of the translation matrix, Maria understood it to be "Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone."

"But you're not alone," said Maria, frustrated and more than a little frightened. "There's hundreds of you. No one is truly alone."

The Aurythmetrists didn't stop to listen but only shuffled slowly closer.

"I've got this," said Sarah Jane, and she held up the device that had emitted the joyful music and light from earlier, but it had little effect on the large number of Auythmetrists. They're collective force of doom and gloom was too overpowering. "Right," said Sarah Jane, a thread of fear in her voice. "Think of something happy."

"What?" Maria was looking around at the poetically depressed expressions coming at her from all directions. It was like a convention of woeful Eyeores marching slowly forward.

"They can't stand anything happy. Sing. Dance. Anything!" Sarah Jane started singing, "When you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. Clap Clap," but it had little effect.

"Right," said Maria. "Something happy."

She turned toward Sarah Jane, closed her eyes, and kissed her.

There was shock at first, and even a little resistance, and then Maria stepped closer, reaching up to take Sarah Jane's face in her hands as the kiss deepened. She felt Sarah Jane give, and reach for her. The happiness inside of Maria welled up, so bright and free and she couldn't help but smile and laugh into the kiss. It was like a light growing and growing until gently, they parted.

Maria blinked and looked around, but all of the Aurythmetrists were gone. "That seems to have done the trick," she said, beaming.

"Yes," said Sarah Jane, but quietly. Maria looked at her and something thumped in her chest, hard and unpleasant. "Maria," said Sarah Jane, but she didn't finish whatever it was she was going to say. There were tears in her eyes as she turned away, leaving Maria standing alone at the side of the maths block as the sun sank lower.

~~~

Maria thought the cowboy alien with long grass green tentacles and the full leather chaps might have been enough incentive to bring Sarah Jane back to her, but she was mistaken. She had to get herself out of that mess without Sarah Jane, but it didn't take much effort. Turns out all you had to do to get rid of cowboy aliens was to insult their horse. It wasn't really a horse, but some sort of seven-legged creature, but it was close enough.

Then she was sure the beautiful Silurian would do it. The Silurian was quite exciting, always in the middle of some grand scheme, fighting crime and solving mysteries. Running with Dimestra was a lot like what it had been like before, on Bannerman Road, only a little more bloodthirsty. But Dimestra soon got frustrated with Maria's resistance to go further, not only with their wild schemes but also in their relationship. One day, Maria just couldn't do it anymore, so she ended it. Ending an almost relationship with a Silurian wasn't done over tea and biscuits, but again Maria managed well enough and could even say Dimestra was still her friend.

It went on like that for a bit. Maria even tried dating humans, but only as a distraction. She didn't think human contact would be sufficient to get her noticed on Sarah Jane's detection device, so she mainly stuck to the odd aliens that seemed to drift through the university like the leftovers of some funny alien dating website.

Sometimes she saw the Aurythmetrist, leaning against a building, looking sad and woeful, chanting, "One. One. One. One."

She had to do something. Something happy.

~~~

She made plans. Grand plans full of clever tricks and cake and maybe a thrilling escape or two. But in the end, she decided straightforward and honest was the better way.

Maria knocked on Sarah Jane's door, and called out her name. She rapped on the windows and stomped her foot. "I know you're in there," she yelled. "I'm not giving up so you might as well let me in. I'm not leaving. Whatever else you are you're my friend and I love you. You said you were never far away, that I could always come to you when I needed you. Well, I need you, Sarah Jane, so you better open OH--"

The door opened suddenly and Maria tumbled inside, nearly falling all over Sarah Jane.

The two women stared at each other for a moment and then, crying and laughing, quickly hugged each other very tight.

"Were you planning on letting the whole street know?" asked Sarah Jane with a mixture of frustrated amusement and love on her face.

"If need be," said Maria, stubbornly. Then she quieted and felt unsure.

"Oh, very well," said Sarah Jane and she took Maria back into her arms. Maria let out a long held breath and squeezed her eyes shut, breathing in the scent of Sarah Jane.

They fell back on their tradition of a comfortable cup of tea, sitting close on the sofa, holding hands. "It's just that you're so young," said Sarah Jane, once again smoothing Maria's hair.

"Is that your only objection? My age?"

"Not your age. My age. I'm far too old for you. You have your whole life ahead of you. You should be out there, having adventures, living your life."

Maria rubbed Sarah Jane's fingers, turning her hand over to expose Sarah Jane's wrist. She remembered that first alien, the Syndonian whose beauty felt as soft as the inside of a wrist. "I've done all that. And yeah, some of it is brilliant. But it's you that makes me happy. I'm happiest here. With you. Doing this." She brought Sarah Jane's wrist up to her lips and kissed it.

Sarah Jane inhaled softly.

"I'm happiest at the end of a day after being with you."

"Oh, Maria," said Sarah Jane, and, shaking a little, she set down her teacup. Her eyes were shining as she took Maria's hand in hers in turn. "What am I going to do with you?" But she was smiling and Maria smiled back, suddenly incredibly happy.

"Anything you like," said Maria, and she leaned in for a kiss.


End file.
